Monday, April 12, 2010

Miscellaneous Thoughts I'm Having Right Now

I'm hungry. I forgot to bring my lunch, and never found time to leave and go grab some. If blogs came with sound, you could hear my stomach growling right now, and me whimpering every so often.

I attended the most joyful funeral I have ever been to yesterday. Rutledge Beacham touched countless lives for the better. All agreed that he was always ready with a smile and nice to everyone - all the time. I know that I'm not, but would like to be. Hearing his closest friends speak about him, challenges me to actively do my best to be a kinder, gentler person and be nice to everyone - all. the. time. - so they too will feel the type of joy and love Rut left a person feeling after spending any amount of time with him. Rutlege will truly be missed.

I'll tell you what I am, I'm a Christian. If forced to state myself as either Calvanist or Arminian, I'd have to say I'm a 4 point Calvanist. And then I'll quickly tell you, I just go by the Bible - and Neither Calvin or Arminian is mentioned there. I just refuse to believe that Jesus only died for the sins of SOME, that God only truly loves the "elect". I've never been part of the "elect" in my life! So if that's true, I'm believing all this for nought - but I'm not. If you ever want to discuss Jesus, I'll tell you what I DO know... and while I'll never be the world's most renowned theologian, I KNOW my Redeemer lives, and He died for me - and for all.

This is the day that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend...no matter what I do today, it seems like 5 o'clock just won't get here!

I am hungry. I also just remembered that I didn't take anything out to make for dinner. I hate when that happens.

I had a week without my daughter, and discovered that without her I am STILL busy! I also discovered that even 14 years later, I still miss her every second that she's away. I'm beyond glad to have her back home.

I'm worried about my Mom's diabetes. She promises the past two weeks have been a "wake up call" and that she's serious and comitted to doing what she needs to do to keep the diabetes in check. I pray this is so.

I am hungry. I'm having flashbacks of the menu at Uncle Julio's - SO yummy.

I wish my landlord would finally fix the fence. I wish my landlord would have someone come deal with the huge dead pine tree before it falls onto the house. I wish I was more comfortable having a straightforward conversation about these things. Why do I shy away from anything that might seem confrontational? ...or that may render a response I won't be happy with? I'm almost 40 - why can't I do this??? Ugh.

Had a fun time talking with Mom about her days as a nun. Who knew she's kept a box of stuff related to that time in her life? I'm sure I've seen snippets - a photo of her in a habit, letters from a priest and a Mother Superior begging her not to leave the order. She's promised to bring the box the next time she visits - I can't wait to go through it with her!

I was also discussing Martin Luther with Mom. I was telling her about how the Catholic Church in Luther's time was making it's followers pay money for indulgences to keep themselves and their already passed on loved ones out of hell and/or purgatory. Then my Mom proceeds to tell me "Oh yeah, that was really wrong. You can't buy indulgences, you have to earn them". OH. MY. How to have the loving conversation with her that you can't possibly earn your way into Heaven, and no one even has to - THANK YOU GOD.

I am hungry. I can't really think of much other besides that at this point. I'm outta here, gonna get home and find something to eat.

Blessings until next time (which I hope will be a wonderful, meaningful blog.)